Outsmarting children is a lighthearted, nonconfrontation method for managing young tots' immature behaviors. It utilizes the fact that adults possess more insight and emotional resources for solving problems than toddlers and pre-schoolers. Thus, moms and dads can safely redirect whiney or belligerent offspring into more desirable activities.

For example, when 3-year-old Whitney fussed about climbing out of the bath, her Mom avoided yelling or threatening by saying, "I'll close my eyes and you surprise me by getting out as quickly as you can. Ready. Go!" The tot eagerly joined in the game, sprang from the tub and stood proudly before her "awestruck" mother.

Outsmarting children decreases frustration in all members of the household. Parents feel less combative and out of control. Tots are less overwhelmed by parental demands and, therefore, have fewer outbursts and tantrums.

Outsmarting children encourages mothers and fathers to use discipline methods other than force. They see how gently distracting or diverting youngsters is usually more effective than making demands against which children are likely to rebel.

Outsmarting children minimizes power struggles. Power struggles erupt when parents and kids deploy increasingly derogatory measures to defeat the other person for the purpose of gaining control in the relationship. But, since outsmarting children changes behavior without causing youngsters to lose face, they have no reason to fight back and are more likely to be compliant.

How can parents go about outsmarting their children? The possibilities are endless. Start with the suggestions listed below, then develop new techniques that work best for you.

• Distraction: Distraction takes advantage of tots' short attention spans and guides them from undesired activities into desired ones. For instance, when 3½-year-old Constance needed a vaccination at the doctor's office, her Grandma quietly read her a story to distract her from the shot.
• Removal: Very young children quickly forget about what they can't see. So it's easy for parents to unobtrusively get rid of objects youngsters shouldn't have.

  When 4-year-old Devon was repeatedly frustrated by a too-complex toy, his father put it away until his son was older.

• Replacement: Trade undesirable toys or behaviors for acceptable ones. For example, Vicky took 2-year-old Thomas to another part of the playground when he was continually attracted to a dangerous climbing structure.
• Play games: When 5-year-old Mark balked at cleaning up his toys, Mom said, "Let's see who can pick up the most in five minutes !"
• Being silly- Make up silly songs or rhymes to lower tension, create diversion and elicit cooperation. For instance, to help 3-year-old Ian go to bed, Dad sang this song as he carried the child into his room: "I know a boy and his name is Ian. Ian wouldn't go to bed. So they hired a big green hippo and he could ride upon its head." Every evening father and son would add verses to the song, turning bedtime from a battle into a joyful experience.

Of course, outsmarting children doesn't solve all behavioral problems. But by recognizing which one of you is the grownup, then putting your wisdom and adult perspective to use, you'll find that most of your child's immaturities can be diminished, and your household will run more smoothly.